My husband and I were 17 years old when we started dating and got married at 22! We were mere babies. We met in high school two young, happy kids. We went through a rough patch in college as most young kids trying to find their way in this world do. Looking back now it was a way for us to grow and understand what we needed and wanted from each other. In the beginning my husband and I struggled with understanding each other. We used to have so many fights about the stupidest things, but it was because we weren’t communicating well.
It wasn’t until I came across the book, The 5 Love Languages, that it all started to make sense. My husband and I have very different love languages! And while we loved each other very much, we struggled with showing it the right way. One day when we had time just the two of us we sat down and took the quiz online. We found that I have the complete opposite love language than my husband. My love language is seriously the last for him! My first and most important love language is physical touch with words of affirmation and quality time tied for second place. My husband’s first and most important love language is acts of service with quality time second.
We have to work at understanding each other and filling each others’ love tank. Marriage is hard work. It’s not always rainbows and butterflies! It doesn’t mean that you don’t love each other, it just means it’s a little more work to show it. It’s okay to not have everything in common. What’s important is that you take the time to understand your partner.
Over the years we have found ways to show love for each other the way we need. Sometimes my husband just has to hug me or hold my hand or tell me through a thoughtful text he’s thinking about me. Sometimes I surprise my husband by taking the trash out for him or making his favorite meal for dinner. I tell you it seriously is the little things that show we love each other. We also take time out of our schedules for trips just the two of us and strive to have at least one date night a month for quality time.
I strongly feel that each engaged couple or newly married couple need to either read this book or at least take the quiz online. It will help you understand your significant other so much more. The book helps you with ideas. Maybe you feel you don’t need it, but it is still nice to read at least once when building a life with someone. You may be surprised with the results!